…and I can’t retain it all.
Ugh, senior year. In high school, it wasn’t so bad, but in college…
I start to take it easy at first. What could possibly go wrong, right? I encounter a few bumps here and there, still taking it slow. Then, before I know it, I’m buried up to my neck in assignments and responsibilities that I just feel like I can’t handle all at once. Heck, even when I start to think I can’t handle it, that’s when it gets tougher. I mean, it’s as if I’m expected to be a superhuman or something. I have an internship application to take care of. I have to be up by 8:00 am tomorrow. I have an online test to finish by the end of the day. I have some project work to do. I have a bunch of things to do on the same day, including an assignment that I apparently should have started on a week ago. Man, how am I supposed to enjoy Fall Break with all this crud piled on my shoulders? On top of that, my computer’s had some connectivity issues as of late (thankfully not since Wednesday)!
But hey, it’s just life, I guess. Every time I’m stuck thinking about one thing and putting aside a bunch of others, suddenly a new obstacle comes my way. For example, just recently, I looked back through one of my previous drafts (Spontaneous Saturday 6/6/15) and saw this:
Uh…what? Under construction? I thought I’d finished this darn thing long ago! Ah, well, I’ll get to it as soon as I can. (Key word: CAN.)
The thing is, obstacles in life are not all the same. You gotta have some sort of priority order. Some things you can (or have to) get taken care of immediately, but others you’ll have to set aside for a later time (like the one I mentioned above). In the latter case, however difficult it is to bear, you just gotta set the issue aside and move on to bigger and better things.
Therein lies a problem from my perspective, though: I’m not one to just let things slip by. As someone who likes seeing things built properly and without gaping holes, it’s embarrassing to know that a publication of mine from 4 months prior hasn’t even been finished. Still, I have to set it aside because I still have more pressing issues to take care of.
This sort of thing also accounts for my sleep deprivation. If something comes to my mind while I’m trying to sleep, chances are, at least 90% of the time, I will settle that thought lingering in my mind before I fall asleep.
Then there are those in-your-face opportunities that you end up missing because you’re completely focused on something else. I was supposed to ask my mother about formal attire for an important meeting tomorrow, but it completely slipped my mind because I was too focused on figuring out a way to arrange getting there in the first place, as well as completing the internship application.
I don’t want to say Vouiv-review is hindering it because, truth be told, I brought it upon myself, not to mention it helps me to reflect upon notable mental developments like this. Poké Monday is purely for my amusement, but Spontaneous Saturday and Top Three Thursday definitely give me ample freedom to express my thoughts in the form of a typed document. Speaking of which, if there are times when I miss the deadline, these issues are most likely why.
I don’t know about my tendency to slack off. It is always nice to take a breather every now and then, but sometimes I feel like I’m taking my breaks too frequently or spending too long per break. I could try to cut down on the amount of anime I watch (limiting myself to Heavy Object and One Punch Man) or sometimes suppressing the urge to prevent overhauling hearts in Pokémon Shuffle so that I can get some extra work done and/or stay subtle in the classroom, but…well, I don’t know. I couldn’t say whether this is really a problem or not, honestly.
Man, my brain was overflowing overnight yesterday, but now it’s slowed down to a near halt. That’s another tendency I have: to get a bunch of work done, set it aside for a while, and come back to it not knowing what the heck I just did. This is, in fact, one of those cases. Still, there are some times when I can jump-start my brain (so to speak) and transition on to another thought
, like how I have a secret hobby of making mock Guitar Hero drum charts for songs with particularly enjoyable percussion.
Even though I just finished the test I mentioned earlier (and got a 96), I still feel burdened because of (1) work I have to do for a team project, (2) an assignment due on Wednesday, (3) an assignment due on Thursday, (4) the supposedly “extra difficult” assignment due on Thursday, (5) a test on Thursday, and (6) a quiz to be done by next Sunday (which honestly isn’t a problem, but man, so many responsibilities to take care of in not much more than one week, let alone with a laptop with sporadic connectivity problems…). But, well, I suppose I’ll turn to this song for encouragement:
When in difficult times, leave it to God to make them seem less difficult than originally perceived. This has held true many times in my life, and I pray that it will continue to do so.
Man, what am I doing, suddenly bringing up God in an otherwise secular writing? Whatever. It’s not like I haven’t disclosed my faith before, and I couldn’t care less what people think of me because of it. If anything, I’d say I’m not vocal enough about my faith, although there’s not much I can do about that because I have high-functioning autism.
This is the conundrum of my life. My train of thought is a convoluted one, which takes relatively long to reach its stops, given its frequent tendency to go nowhere fast. No accidents happen on the train, though.
I don’t know what I was thinking with this metaphor.
À la prochaine! (Until next time!)